I just got back from walking with Rick and Paige. Ugghhhh.. this whole outta shape thing
is horrible! I bet if I were any less active it wouldn't be long before my muscles just up and
give out on me.
I feel so ashamed that I have let myself get this bad. Enough of that though, I can't dwell on
what I've done to myself. Now I all I can do is pray for God's strength to help me correct
what I can, and pray he will correct what I can't.
My walk with the Lord through my life has seen similar side effects.
When I was younger my mom and I prayed together quite often. She really could
make the devil shake when she prayed, and I learned to pray the same way, and in
my young innocent heart, with all I had in me, I just believed God would do whatever
I asked of Him.
As the years went on, and my own selfish desires , and the world around me became
more important, than my time with God, the less I prayed, the more I strayed, and God
became someone I turned to in times of trouble rather than staying his friend.
I got older, had children, failed relationships, and trying to get my life with God back on track,
on again off again.
It wasn't that he was far away, it was me.
My prayers weren't as powerful as I remembered, my heart a little more hardened , and my ears not
so sensative to the Holy Spirit.
I found myself longing to be young again, back when we were so close that He was all I thought about.
It hasn't been easy.. and not because God isn't doing his part..
It has been me, not forgiving myself. It has been a process.
I find it sooo easy to forgive everyone. I can't even stay mad at anyone for more than 30 minutes.
At myself however , well, I just kept beating myself up.
I feel like I have started over with God, and now I'm learning even more than as I did as a child,
and slowly He is building up that faith that I once had.
Just like exercise for your body, if you do not keep yourself in the word, and take time out for the Lord,
your spirit get's weak, drained, and you aren't running at your full potential.
We have to work out our Spirit just as we do for our natural body.
Sometimes it will hurt when we are being challenged with something new, but it's for our good.
Just as my leg cramps hurt, but in the long run, (or short jog hahaha) it will be good for me.
So I'll keep goin one step , and one day at a time.
I'm so excited about this new walk with Lord. Not that we ever stopped walking completely, but now
I'm after him... and I won't stop till I see his face.
My dream has always been to dance in his arms when I finally get to see him.. and I wanna do some moves that I had better be in shape for! I can't have my savior bending me back in a dip only to have my hip go out!
Looking forward to the dance.... here and in Heaven...
Kim
